“If you want to feel rich, just count the things you have that money can't buy”

Hello world,

Let's talk money, and how I have NONE. Also, how I'm setting myself up to never have any. Hm...

Theatre Performance and Creative Writing as my majors, Communication and Dance as two possible minors.

Hm...

I went in today to try and sign up for summer classes and planned on taking out more loans (I know they'll be the death of me post graduation- but it's better than not having a degree!) and I find out I don't have any loans left. Crapola...

So I ask, "Well, is there some type of payment plan I could get on? I'll be working over the summer and would be able to pay them off if I can go on a monthly payment plan."

The response, "Sure, we'll take half of the money out next week and the other half in June."

A: I'm barely affording rent right now, I'm surviving off food I can steal from home every couple months I go back, and I'm only drinking once a week. (You may say, "well, just drop the alcohol and you're set." But I'm a college students... life demands a drink every week. As a friend once said, "College must have been created by the alcohol companies, because it just sets us up for alcoholism!" Too true. But I digress.)
B: ONE CLASS costs over $1,000!
C: My bank account will literally be at $20 after this month's rent...

So, obviously... that will not work. The only way I can take it is if mommy and daddy take out a loan for me. AND THEN, and only then, if they get denied will I be able to apply for more loans. I'm 21, I'm sick of having to go to mom and dad for everything. Signing for a house, paying for classes, food... the list goes on and on.

Well, I'm thinking that classes will have to be dropped and pushed back to next year when the government will help me out again. *sigh*

But it got me thinking... what about after I graduate? How will I pay these loans off... and if I am paying them off... what kind of ho-dunk apartment will I have to live in for 20 years while I do so. Fingers crossed on a Tony Award winning play or casting in a blockbuster film I guess! Eeks!

You know, money is SO STRESSFUL. I think it's the reason more people than ever before have had heart problems. It's not McDonalds, it's our financial stress! Just hearing and thinking about my money predicament has made my stomach uneasy all day.

And it's not like I can say, "well fuck it, I don't need money! I'll be a free man without it!" because I am likely one of the most dependent people I know on money. I want a new camera, need a new phone, need hair clippers, want an iPod, and love clothes. I am, like every other person on this planet, completely dependent on money. So what do we do? Sneak to the wilderness of Canada and leave the material world behind, make a cavern out of a bear hide we hunt with out sharpened stick, eat wild berries that give us the shits, freeze our butts when winter comes and likely get eaten by wolves in the middle of the night? Eh... doesn't sound too appealing to me.

The way I see it, is we gotta deal with it, live with it, and get over it. Maybe I should only drink once every OTHER week... That's $10 more a week... Maybe I should start selling my plasma again. That can add up to $80 a week... and maybe it'll help me loose weight! Eh, they don't sound like things that will increase the "fun factor" in my life. But who knows. All I know is that I need to be thankful that I can attend college at all and be happy today is sunny and that I woke up... and even more- that I look hella cute today! :) So I'll keep my chin up for another day, working the max hours I get at my job and trying to save what little money I have for the many things I want.

Well world, this is me, pursuing through today! Until the next time I have a qualm I need to talk out to find a happy ending for- PEACE, LOVE, and HAPPINESS!