I don't know if it's being in Romeo and Juliet that is doing this to me, but my mind was been flooded with thoughts of love. Maybe it's the heat that's got me going into heat or just the fact I'm single and am watching friends get married, have kids, and start lives that is making me a heartless romantic. Who knows, but whatever it is, it's planted itself comfortably in the La-Z-Boy of my brain.
So love, what is there to say about love? Unrequited love? Love that feels so wrong it must be right? Or love that you know will never amount to anything, and in truth, is just wishful thinking. The later, that's the one that most amazes me. Love hurts. Love kills. Love is a festering wound that is incurable and made worse by our picking at the little scab that attempts to form over it. So why are we so addicted to it? Why do we live every day to feel love, give love, think love, form love, spread love, absorb love, hinder love, love love? Why do we waste hours upon hours daydreaming of love?
The answer is simple, because when love happens, when two people discover the connection and get on the same level, the rewards of love are beyond compare. Our hearts feel lighter, our days brighter, our smiles bigger, our skin glows, our eyes glaze, our blood pressure rises (along with some other things...), and our aura multiplies. When you see a couple that is truly in love, everyone knows. Have you ever noticed that? A simple old couple in their 80s, walking through the park, holding hands: the POWER it holds! It's like a magnet, we see it and our minds ache to feel to way they feel, our hearts long to pump in sync with another human, our nights suddenly feel darker and our beds more empty. It's the power that love has over us, that euphoria that knocks any drug or alcohol out of the water, can morph our entire outlook on life just by the image of hands being held.
Perhaps it's my young heart that hasn't been hurt enough that still longs to feel this love and let it consume my life. I know people who have given up that fight to find love, to discover someone that will turn their world in a 180. I pray to God that I never become like that, that I always have the young heart ready and willing to go onto that edge, make the jump, and pray to the good Lord above that it's caught.
I'm throwing it out there right now. No one can see it but me. No one knows for what reason, for whom, or how much but me. I know what I'm doing, I'm terrified to to do it, but I can't stop myself. I have no control. I give up control. It feels free, it feels dangerous, it feels terrible, and it feels wonderful. But I give up, and I'm letting life take the reigns. Who needs control when your life sets you up the perfect journey with the perfect highs and perfect lows. I'll learn from my pain and I'll gain from my experience. And who knows, maybe this whole thing will end up the way my day dreams have been laying it out.
Until next time, adieu!
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